She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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