No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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