Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
