The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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