ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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