I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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