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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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