pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
