I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
