How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
