im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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