Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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