We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
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My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize