omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
