Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
