hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
