She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
