You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
