I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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