If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
