The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
