We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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