Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
