I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
