I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
