mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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