I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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