My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize