she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
