i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am one with the molecules
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
