I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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