why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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