I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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