I am in a vortex of obligation.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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