forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
