dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
