Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
