then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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