Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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