Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
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I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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