So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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