You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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