And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
