im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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