and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You've changed since you got that strap on
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
