i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
