Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize