you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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