haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
