barbara walters just said penis...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
