How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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