i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
