Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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