The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
