Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
