she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Someone came in the potted fern
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
