Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
