just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
